Charlotte C. Black
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Adoption #2 Update

3/27/2017

12 Comments

 
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The beginning of February we set our on our second adoption journey. Without going into much detail, we were put in touch with people in Michigan, looking for a family with whom to place their baby for adoption. The baby would come in September and we gladly accepted the opportunity to adopt the coming baby. We told our families about the exciting news shortly after, but I was very hesitant to post anything publicly until, A. Birth mom was further along in her pregnancy, and B. We knew this was a for-sure thing. When we adopted Emmanuel, I didn't post anything publicly until he was around 2 or 3 weeks old. The idea of "putting myself out there" and then having to tell everyone it didn't work out, was terrifying to me. I didn't want to be in that position.
On March 12, 2017... just a few weeks ago, I posted a video on social media, telling everyone about our second adoption journey. I wanted to get fundraising rolling because I knew how costly this adoption could be, plus, we had just received our last bill in the mail for Emmanuel's adoption a few weeks prior. I spent a lot of time and thought into coming up with ideas for fundrasing and how to present it in a way that would best grab people's attention. If you took the time to watch my whole video, thank you! 
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I wanted to be sure that, although we do need help financially to bring another child home through adoption, I didn't want to come across as asking for a hand-out. If you noticed, in all of our fundraising options I presented, we were working for the money we would receive. Even the t-shirts, we designed, and we only receive a portion. (The t-shirts, btw, were the one success... although we only sold a few, but that is ok!!)
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But now I am forced to do what I have dreaded. We posted the video March 12, and the evening of March 15 we learned some potential news that shook us up a lot. By the afternoon of the 16th we realized that this child, whom we had grown to love... this child we had been praying for... this child we were preparing to receive, would not be coming home with us this fall. I won't share all the details, but, I will share that I was, and still am, heartbroken. My emotions are difficult to explain. I am hurt, but I am healing. I am heartbroken, but I am hopeful.

The fact is, although we will not be bringing THIS child home, we are still adopting again. I recently read a statistic that about 20% of adoptions end in failure. Of course, going into any adoption, you know the risks. Our son's adoption was very smooth and circumstances were different. I think the fact that I know adoptions can be successful, gives me a renewed hope. I knew 50% of marriages end in failure, but I still got married. Many women know that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but they still grow their family through that means anyway. Most rewarding things involve risk and vulnerability.
I'll be completely honest here. I feel like a fool. I put myself out there publicly, and now I have to pull back and say, "ok... I said this was happening... but it isn't." I guess it doesn't affect my integrity... I really thought this was a for-sure thing. Trust me, I have gone over everything time and time and time again and I can't figure it out. I don't really know what went wrong. I'm generally very guarded and private, so the fact that I posted anything at all was a huge step for me. And this is even harder. I have known people who were in my shoes once, and I never thought them the fool... never. I was heartbroken. I prayed. I was empathetic.
Please know this was not an easy thing for me to do... but I know it had to be done. I did, however, promise that I would keep everyone updated on our second adoption journey, and I plan to. We spoke with our attorney about everything that happened and I look forward to sharing our plans with you. However, I don't want to make this post so long that you don't read it all. I will post again soon with what our family is doing with adoption number 2. I really want you all to be a part of it. And no, I am not talking about in a financial way... this is a totally different level of involvement.

Again, I'm so sorry to have to deliver this news... I've been dreading it. But God is still good. He is still on the Throne. He is still sovereign, even in this. And He still writes beautiful stories for His children. We put our hope in Him, and not in the success/failure of adoption. Please continue to lift our family in prayer. We are in need of encouragement during a time of disappointments.

Also, our t-shirt campaign ends April 1. Adoption awareness is so important. Our shirts say, "Love has no limits." Love isn't limited to blood and biology... adoption is such a testimony to that. I really encourage you to purchase one of our shirts, not to build our adoption fund, but to raise adoption awareness.
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Thank You!

​Love,

The Blacks

(Char, Mitch, and Manny)
12 Comments
Debbie Hausele
3/27/2017 04:18:13 pm

So sorry to hear of this. Our first adoption fell through also. Although it was overseas, we were still heartbroken. The Russian government deemed him "unadoptable for medical reasons" Can you imagine that, deeming a child that needs a good home "unadoptable" We were not told what medical issues there was. We had a picture, had a baby shower and his name. Very disappointing. But we did get through it with God's help and prayers from family and friends. We got the best gift of all, Noah. Will be keeping your family in my prayers. God has the right little one out there for you.

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Char Black
3/28/2017 09:33:38 am

Thank you for sharing this story. It was encouraging to hear. I know what a blessing Noah is to your whole family.

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Claudia Karppala
3/27/2017 06:24:51 pm

(((((((( Char, Mitch and Manny )))))))) Please terll me more about these T-Shirts... with our trip I apparently missed that post. I want to get in before April 1st ;) God bless you all!!! I am so sorry to read of your grief but having said that, I am SO VERY GLAD that our God is faithful and His plans are always best in the long run. Glad to read you know that too! We love you guys A LOT!!

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Mitch
3/27/2017 06:28:37 pm

Yes Claudia,
You can follow the link in the post to get to the t-shirts sales from Bonfire. Any other questions let me know and I can point you there. BLESSINGS.

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Sarah Canney
3/27/2017 06:27:16 pm

My heart goes out to you both. We suffered an international adoption failure before James, but the worst was discovering we wouldn't be bringing home our baby girl a month before she was born and then still being there the day she was born to support the birth mom. Nearly 5 years later, with another little girl in our home roughly the same age, I am seeing how God was piecing things together and used those circumstances to shape me to be the person I am today. Nonetheless, I know your pain, and there are no words. I don't know what God has in store for you, but I believe it will be even more beautiful than you could have hoped or imagined. You are being real and through that, you will minister and encourage others. You have no need to apologize or feel like a fool, and you have every right to grieve. That's what makes adoption loss hard...it's like a miscarriage but not everyone understands. Take time to grieve and look after yourselves. I'll continue to pray along with you!

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Char Black
3/28/2017 09:37:38 am

Sarah, I remember both events well... and my hearts broke for your family. I remember thinking, "I can't imagine what they're going through." Even the day we received the sad news I said, " I don't know how to recover from this... I know how to bounce back from a lot, but not this." Thankfully God places people in our lives who's stories remind us of His faithfulness. Your family has been such a reminder of hope for me. I look forward to the story God is writing, despite the chapters that are difficult.

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Michele HerrNeckar
3/27/2017 06:41:04 pm

To The Black Family, my heart breaks for you. You have lost a child, it only a little different then a miscarriage your grief is the same. I pray for the Lord to heal your family from this loss, to comfort you and hold you you grieve. Nothing will replace this child and the hopes and dreams you had for him. God will somehow take this hurt dark spots in your history and with the two of you turn it into something you share with people that brings them out of their darkness.
Praying for you.
God Bless

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Char Black
3/28/2017 09:38:24 am

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.

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Tamara Myers
3/27/2017 10:32:47 pm

I cannot imagine how you feel but I know it must be in Gods plan. No need to feel foolish as you walk in faith believing His promises for you. You are still adopting..but there is a delay as He hand picks the baby and perfects the circumstances He has for you. This delay is being allowed for His purposes. I know you know. Your faith is in the One who is faithful. You are backed by love and prayers as we wait along with you to see the work of His hands in your life.

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Char Black
3/28/2017 09:39:23 am

Thank you Tamara. Your words were so touching and encouraging. And I am so thankful that the Lord brought you more closely into our lives this year.

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Tamara
3/30/2017 11:05:11 am

I am glad as well. <3 Thank you for sharing your story. As you walk through this 'chapter' of your life I pray He shows you great and beautiful things. Just as our 'sister' Esther had to wait and prepare and be prepared and then have the faith and courage to move forward...so are you.
You are living out the truth of 'His timing is perfect'.

Linda White
3/28/2017 05:03:39 pm

Mitch, Char & Manny, when Jon mentioned the adoption not going through afterall, I knew it must feel just like a miscarriage emotionally. I'm sorry that this has happened, and am praying for your healing. I am also praying that God will provide the perfect child that will fit your family the way Manny does. I want you to know I felt heartbroken for you. I'm praying for extra love, compassion and blessings to come your way as you wait on the Lord. Love you all.

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    Char Black

    Thank you for taking the time to check out my page and read little bits about the story The Lord is continually writing for me.  I started this page to give myself the opportunity to share with you the things I am most passionate about:  Faith, adoption, parenting, health, fitness, art, family, and crazy life experiences.

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  • Home
  • About
    • Meet Char
    • Meet Char's Family
  • Blog
    • Adoption
    • Faith
    • Family
    • Health and Fitness
    • My Journey to Motherhood
  • Photos
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    • Character Art
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