The beginning of February we set our on our second adoption journey. Without going into much detail, we were put in touch with people in Michigan, looking for a family with whom to place their baby for adoption. The baby would come in September and we gladly accepted the opportunity to adopt the coming baby. We told our families about the exciting news shortly after, but I was very hesitant to post anything publicly until, A. Birth mom was further along in her pregnancy, and B. We knew this was a for-sure thing. When we adopted Emmanuel, I didn't post anything publicly until he was around 2 or 3 weeks old. The idea of "putting myself out there" and then having to tell everyone it didn't work out, was terrifying to me. I didn't want to be in that position.
| On March 12, 2017... just a few weeks ago, I posted a video on social media, telling everyone about our second adoption journey. I wanted to get fundraising rolling because I knew how costly this adoption could be, plus, we had just received our last bill in the mail for Emmanuel's adoption a few weeks prior. I spent a lot of time and thought into coming up with ideas for fundrasing and how to present it in a way that would best grab people's attention. If you took the time to watch my whole video, thank you! |  |
I wanted to be sure that, although we do need help financially to bring another child home through adoption, I didn't want to come across as asking for a hand-out. If you noticed, in all of our fundraising options I presented, we were working for the money we would receive. Even the t-shirts, we designed, and we only receive a portion. (The t-shirts, btw, were the one success... although we only sold a few, but that is ok!!)
  | But now I am forced to do what I have dreaded. We posted the video March 12, and the evening of March 15 we learned some potential news that shook us up a lot. By the afternoon of the 16th we realized that this child, whom we had grown to love... this child we had been praying for... this child we were preparing to receive, would not be coming home with us this fall. I won't share all the details, but, I will share that I was, and still am, heartbroken. My emotions are difficult to explain. I am hurt, but I am healing. I am heartbroken, but I am hopeful. The fact is, although we will not be bringing THIS child home, we are still adopting again. I recently read a statistic that about 20% of adoptions end in failure. Of course, going into any adoption, you know the risks. Our son's adoption was very smooth and circumstances were different. I think the fact that I know adoptions can be successful, gives me a renewed hope. I knew 50% of marriages end in failure, but I still got married. Many women know that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but they still grow their family through that means anyway. Most rewarding things involve risk and vulnerability. |
I'll be completely honest here. I feel like a fool. I put myself out there publicly, and now I have to pull back and say, "ok... I said this was happening... but it isn't." I guess it doesn't affect my integrity... I really thought this was a for-sure thing. Trust me, I have gone over everything time and time and time again and I can't figure it out. I don't really know what went wrong. I'm generally very guarded and private, so the fact that I posted anything at all was a huge step for me. And this is even harder. I have known people who were in my shoes once, and I never thought them the fool... never. I was heartbroken. I prayed. I was empathetic.
Please know this was not an easy thing for me to do... but I know it had to be done. I did, however, promise that I would keep everyone updated on our second adoption journey, and I plan to. We spoke with our attorney about everything that happened and I look forward to sharing our plans with you. However, I don't want to make this post so long that you don't read it all. I will post again soon with what our family is doing with adoption number 2. I really want you all to be a part of it. And no, I am not talking about in a financial way... this is a totally different level of involvement.
Again, I'm so sorry to have to deliver this news... I've been dreading it. But God is still good. He is still on the Throne. He is still sovereign, even in this. And He still writes beautiful stories for His children. We put our hope in Him, and not in the success/failure of adoption. Please continue to lift our family in prayer. We are in need of encouragement during a time of disappointments.
Also, our t-shirt campaign ends April 1. Adoption awareness is so important. Our shirts say, "Love has no limits." Love isn't limited to blood and biology... adoption is such a testimony to that. I really encourage you to purchase one of our shirts, not to build our adoption fund, but to raise adoption awareness.
Again, I'm so sorry to have to deliver this news... I've been dreading it. But God is still good. He is still on the Throne. He is still sovereign, even in this. And He still writes beautiful stories for His children. We put our hope in Him, and not in the success/failure of adoption. Please continue to lift our family in prayer. We are in need of encouragement during a time of disappointments.
Also, our t-shirt campaign ends April 1. Adoption awareness is so important. Our shirts say, "Love has no limits." Love isn't limited to blood and biology... adoption is such a testimony to that. I really encourage you to purchase one of our shirts, not to build our adoption fund, but to raise adoption awareness.
 | Thank You! Love, The Blacks (Char, Mitch, and Manny) |
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