I'm thrilled to be certified and to have the long days of studying during nap-time behind me, but I feel in this odd place of limbo where I ask myself, "Ok... now what?" I'm still trying to figure out the business side of things, and it may take me awhile to find my groove in the industry. But, I'm closer today than I was a week ago, so either way, its progress.
Passing my exam felt a bit anticlimactic to be honest. My family and friends congratulated me and were happy for me, but there were no fireworks and no theme music as I walked out of the testing room... just the word "PASS" on my computer screen. I don't know if I felt like having a title or certification would make me feel validated or something, but I think the studying distracted me from life. Not that life is bad, but I am one of those people, I guess, who has to fight a little harder for joy. When I set goals and focus on those, its easier for me to let the day-to-day struggles of life grow dim, because I am looking ahead to something "better." Then, when the goal is reached, "ordinary" comes crashing in on me and I feel overwhelmed.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my life, it is just hard for me to be content a lot of the time. Maybe I am too goal-oriented. Maybe I want too much out of life. Every time I accomplish something, I find myself asking "what now?"... like it's never enough and I am constantly wanting more. I'm excited for a new journey, I just wish I could take a moment and be truly proud of myself for how hard I worked. To take a moment and be completely content, and ready to start the next thing because I want to... and not because I feel like maybe the next thing will be "it" for me.
This post ended up being very jumbled and not at all where I planned to go when I started. I think my original plan was to lead into something like, "now that I am officially a certified personal trainer, my goal is to spend a little more time writing blog posts about health and fitness along with my consistent love for adoption and art." Well, there, I didn't say it earlier, but I said it now. Be watching for new and exciting things... I know I will be.