I am the second of four children in my family. My older sister, Shannah, got married in 2008, I got married in 2009, my younger sister got married in 2013, and in just a few days my brother, Anthony, will be getting married. After this weekend all 4 of us will be married. It's crazy how fast years go the older I get. I remember when my brother was born and when he started school. I remember going away to college and he was only 12 years old. And now he has found a young woman who wants to be his wife.
Mitch and I have been spending the last couple weeks in the book of Hebrews. We have made evening corporate scripture reading a regular event in our home. Even Emmanuel joins us on the couch as we read and discuss the scripture together. Often we are keeping him from ripping pages out of our bibles, but regardless of him being so young, we think it is important for him to be a part of our family worship. I don't really know at what age children start understanding deep things, so I might as well start teaching him now.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do in the world is wait. Especially in our culture, we hate to wait for anything. We have high speed internet and fast food restaurants. My husband and I even invested in an EZPass to shave down a few minutes on travelling. We live in such a time-oriented culture, it has created a great dislike in us for waiting.
Back in 2010 my husband and I spent 5 months in Haiti serving as short-term missionaries. Haitians are never in a hurry for anything. I learned a different view of patience when I lived there. I was dealing with a lot of culture shock our first few months and I was an emotional wreck most days, but I wouldn’t trade my time there or the life-lessons I learned for anything. It was in Haiti that the Lord planted the desire for adoption in my husband’s heart. Fast forward 5 years, and we have a son through adoption. It was a long difficult wait, but we are so grateful for all the Lord taught us in that time.
This week I heard someone say: “Prayer can accomplish what a willing God can accomplish.” I repeated that to myself a few times in my mind… what does that mean for me? I asked myself. I think about the biggest things I have prayed for in my life. I think about the things that I have prayed for the most. I don’t know why it can seem sometimes like a prayer made a 100 times, goes unheard 99 times. I remember feeling like my prayers were unheard so many times.
Prayer can accomplish what a willing God can accomplish. The Lord uses the prayers of the saints to bring about His purposes. The years I prayed for my son, long before I ever knew he’d be mine… long before he was in existence, God was using those prayers. He was hearing them, and answering them. Sometimes in the answer of “wait,” and “not yet.” Sometimes answers like that can feel like no answer at all.
This year is my 7th Mother’s Day as a married woman, but my 1st Mother’s Day as a mom. Over the past 7 years, I haven’t cared much for Mother’s Day. I always felt very alone and overlooked as I sat in the pew at church and all the mothers were honored and recognized. There have been many Mother’s days where I have avoided eye contact and conversation with people. I just wanted so much to avoid any questions or comments about motherhood. Many Mother’s Days I have just wanted to stay home from church and hide. A place that should feel like home and family… a place that should feel safe, often felt like a mine field for me… especially on Mother’s Day.
When my husband and I started the process for adoption in January of 2015, we hadn’t told many people. I wanted to wait until we were further into the process before anyone, other than close friends and family, knew that we were planning to adopt. I knew the process might be long and exhausting, and I didn’t look forward to the weekly questions of, “so, anything yet?” when I knew I’d have to say over and over again, “nope… could be another year, could be another 4 years… I don’t know.” Waiting can be difficult enough without being prodded regularly...
Thank you for taking the time to check out my page and read little bits about the story The Lord is continually writing for me. I started this page to give myself the opportunity to share with you the things I am most passionate about: Faith, adoption, parenting, health, fitness, art, family, and crazy life experiences.