One thing that Mitch and I had in common from the beginning was our love for the Lord, a second thing was our love for children. Before we ever became engaged, or even dated, I think, we knew that we both wanted a houseful of children. As we ventured forward toward marriage, we discussed the subject further. We both thought that 8 would be a perfect number. If the Lord gave us more, and we were able to parent them all well, then we’d have more. But regardless, we wanted a houseful of children. We wanted to have a few biological children together, and adopt many more... I think deep down I always looked more forward to adopting than to birthing children. But I really intended to do both. I think I felt expected to become pregnant one day, more than anything.
I never dated before I met my husband, and there are so many emotions and thoughts in the mind of a teenager. I didn’t want to date just to appease feelings I had… I didn’t want just an emotional experience so that I could feel special and wanted for the time being. I wanted to save my whole self for my husband one day. Not just myself physically, but emotionally too. So, I wrote letters. I looked forward to the one the Lord would one day lead me to. I decided to love him now instead of getting caught up in silly present crushes (not to say that I didn’t, I still was 16, after all).
“62 days until we get married. Right now I am feeling so excited about what God has in store for us. I just want to love on those orphans. Tonight I was thinking and I was wondering if I was unable to have children. Mostly I was wondering if I would still be happy if all I ever got to do was love orphans who were not my flesh and blood children. I would hope I would be. Let’s make a promise that even if God does not bless us with our own children, that we will continue to trust Him, live for Him, and love Him with all we have. It will be hard if that is the way it is, but it will be good because He is good.”