The beginning of February we set our on our second adoption journey. Without going into much detail, we were put in touch with people in Michigan, looking for a family with whom to place their baby for adoption. The baby would come in September and we gladly accepted the opportunity to adopt the coming baby. We told our families about the exciting news shortly after, but I was very hesitant to post anything publicly until, A. Birth mom was further along in her pregnancy, and B. We knew this was a for-sure thing. When we adopted Emmanuel, I didn't post anything publicly until he was around 2 or 3 weeks old. The idea of "putting myself out there" and then having to tell everyone it didn't work out, was terrifying to me. I didn't want to be in that position.
Well, we did it!!! Finally, every paper is signed and every document filed away. Our adoption of Emmanuel is finally complete! Its crazy to think that this last year with our Manny, we were still in the waiting phase. Now he is 100% ours on paper! He has been ours since day 1, but now the state recognizes us as his parents. His new birth certificate will say that Mitch and I are his mom and dad.
Near the end of July 2012 we received the good news that Mitch's Visa paperwork had come through and was complete! August 4 we would be moving to New York State. During the wait it always felt like that day would never come, but looking back now, it all went by so fast. I went through all our boxes that had been sitting packed in the basement for 6 months and reorganized everything and got rid of everything I no longer wanted. A moving company came and gave us a quote, but in the end we rented a Uhaul truck and trailered our car behind us.
Shortly after my nephew was born in January 2012, we candidated at a church in NY state, far away from both of our families. In February, they inforrmed Mitch that he got the job, but we knew it would be a long wait because they had a lot of paperwork to do in order to hire him. See, because Mitch is Canadian, and the church was in the states, acquiring a visa took about 6 months. Immigration is a lot of work. So we began another long wait...
When we hit the one year mark in our journey of attempting to grow our family, I started really thinking that something might be wrong. Of course, during that time I had done a lot of reading on conception and pregnancy, and I knew that, at my age, after a year of trying with no success, it might be time to seek help. So we did. We set up an appointment with a doctor. Going to that appointment may have, especially at that time, ranked as one of the most humiliating moments of my life...
When we first started trying to grow our family, we told only a few very close friends. I didn't want anyone to know. Everyone seems to have an opinion about when you should start a family. Most people I knew didn't have an opinion that jived very well with mine. I knew too many people thought I was too young, so I kept my feelings to myself. I knew couples who had been married longer than I had who thought, "No way! I don't want kids yet!"...I guess in a way I was embarrassed that I wanted so badly to be a mom right away, so I put on the act of not wanting kids. I figured that when I got pregnant, people would just accept it and be excited...no longer concerned if I were too young or whatever.
I went through a long period feeling like wanting kids was a bad thing. I felt like every dream or ambition that I had, people thought, "Why would you want to do that?!" Like it was foolish. So I watched people I loved get excited for everyone who became pregnant, knowing that if it were me, no one would be excited... Or that is how I felt, at least...
I don’t even know where to begin… I don’t want to start earlier in the story than necessary, but I also don’t want to start without somewhat of a back story, either. People often have told me that I give a lot of unnecessary details when storytelling, and I don’t want to default to that. However, I think, hey, it’s my blog! I can write whatever and however I want! Haha. But in all seriousness, I don’t want to share so much that you become bored and never make it to the end… because the end is beautiful. First, let me share a very little bit about when my husband and I first were preparing to get married.
One thing that Mitch and I had in common from the beginning was our love for the Lord, a second thing was our love for children. Before we ever became engaged, or even dated, I think, we knew that we both wanted a houseful of children. As we ventured forward toward marriage, we discussed the subject further. We both thought that 8 would be a perfect number. If the Lord gave us more, and we were able to parent them all well, then we’d have more. But regardless, we wanted a houseful of children. We wanted to have a few biological children together, and adopt many more...
A year ago today I found out I was going to be a mom. 80 days from today, my son will be 1 year old. What a journey my little family has been on over the last few years.
I've had many people ask me to share my story. People who know my story have thought more should know. Other's, who do not know any details, or very few details, are curious. So, over the next 80 days, I'm going to be doing a series of blog posts sharing the whole story from the beginning. (The 80 day goal was not met... bear with me--edited March 2017) This is a story that I cannot tell in one post. It just wouldn't do justice to the story God has written for us and for our son. I don't think that I could do justice to it in multiple posts over 80 days either, but I will try...
Being an adoptive parent, I hear all sorts of misguided assumptions and opinions about adoption that people have. When we first started sharing with people that we were adopting, or that we would like to adopt, one of the most popular questions was, "why? Can you not have children?" Let me just put this out there for anyone who doesn't know: Adoption is NOT a Plan B... Or at least it shouldn't be. Adoption is not a fall-back plan, or the second-best life. My husband and I adopted our son, and we couldn't love him more or be happier with our decision.
These comments are something I struggle greatly with. Not that the comments are necessarily always hurtful, I guess I just find them naive/ignorant, insensitive, and sort of irritating. I remember when we first brought Emmanuel home... We were so happy, just like any new parent is when they bring their tiny infant home for the first time. He was beautiful and we were so in love, and so excited to show him off so everyone could share in our joy.
Thank you for taking the time to check out my page and read little bits about the story The Lord is continually writing for me. I started this page to give myself the opportunity to share with you the things I am most passionate about: Faith, adoption, parenting, health, fitness, art, family, and crazy life experiences.