Charlotte C. Black
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Letting Go of our Burdens

6/18/2019

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My 3 year old is in a phase where he loves his backpack. He wants to wear it everywhere. Not only has it become constantly attached to him, but he likes to pack it super full. At the end of the day, I go through and empty out his bag and I am amazed at the things he thinks to put in there. Snacks, junk mail, toys, books, markers, juice boxes, crayons, paint brushes, game pieces, user manuals, toothbrushes, cords, coins, stickers, costumes, shoes, socks, my old passport, tools, rulers... you name it, its been in there, basically.

He gets his bag so full of stuff, that he can’t really access any of it. He says, “I need to put ___ in my bag...”. It takes a while to get out the door some days because he is packing his bag. He doesn’t have room in there most days for the things I usually put in there which results in me sometimes carrying a second bag. Why he feels like he needs all these things, I have no idea, but he totes that bag around regardless. We’ve been working on removing things, much to his dismay. But he’s growing in the discipline of letting things go.
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Today we went to a playground and he wanted to play in his backpack. I watched him struggle to play against the weight of it. He weighs 30 pounds, and his backpack probably weighed 10-15 pounds... so you can just imagine. I watched him attempt to do things he normally would do without trouble, and he struggled. He tripped. He fell. He gave up on some things. He ran paces behind the kids he normally would have kept up with. I offered over and over to hold his bag for him, but he refused. He insisted that he wear it.
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Would he have enjoyed himself more without it? Yes. Would he have been able to play without struggle had be let me carry it for him? Yes. Would he have been less hot and tired had he chose not to wear it? Yes. But for some reason he finds comfort in having that bag. He feels secure knowing its near him. Is it burdensome? Absolutely!

My son is just like all of us. I watched him play with that backpack strapped to his back and thought about how I do the same things. Do I want to live in fear? Do I want to bear shame? No. I want to walk in freedom... but for some reason there is an odd sense of comfort and security in fear and shame. We don’t always want to hand it over, even though we know we will perform better without it. We will thrive. Yet we cling to the things that wear us down.

For some reason it seems silly when its “practical.” Take off the bag, honey. Trust me with this. You’ll be able to play better. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. If we, as parents, though we are evil, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more does our Heavenly Father give good gifts to his children?

Our church is currently in a teaching/preaching series called “Growing in Christ.” It has caused me to wrestle with different things in my spirit. The truth is, I’d rather walk in freedom than in fear. I’d rather rest in grace than in shame. I’d rather be a child than be a slave. Faith is a journey, and we don’t walk it alone. I want to grow in Christ. I want to experience the joy of victory in my life. And I don’t want to miss those joys because I’m hiding behind the shame that Jesus died to put to death.
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    Char Black

    Thank you for taking the time to check out my page and read little bits about the story The Lord is continually writing for me.  I started this page to give myself the opportunity to share with you the things I am most passionate about:  Faith, adoption, parenting, health, fitness, art, family, and crazy life experiences.

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  • Home
  • About
    • Meet Char
    • Meet Char's Family
  • Blog
    • Adoption
    • Faith
    • Family
    • Health and Fitness
    • My Journey to Motherhood
  • Photos
  • Artwork
    • Character Art
    • Pencil Drawings
    • Watercolor
    • Ink & Watercolor
    • Speed Drawing and Painting
  • Adoption Profile
    • Why Adoption?
    • More About Mitch
    • More About Char
    • More About Emmanuel
    • Our Families
    • Our Cat
  • Contact
  • Store