“But you will be,” she said. “Maybe not right now, but you will be. You ARE expecting… just in a different way.” I will always be grateful for her words. I tried to look at my situation differently after that. “I am expecting” I would tell myself. My little sister was 4 ½ months pregnant at the time, so the idea of me expecting, when my belly was so flat, my womb so empty, and my heart so heavy, was a very difficult, and deeply painful concept to grasp.
When my husband and I started the process for adoption in January of 2015, we hadn’t told many people. I wanted to wait until we were further into the process before anyone, other than close friends and family, knew that we were planning to adopt. I knew the process might be long and exhausting, and I didn’t look forward to the weekly questions of, “so, anything yet?” when I knew I’d have to say over and over again, “nope… could be another year, could be another 4 years… I don’t know.” Waiting can be difficult enough without being prodded regularly...
Too many women are overlooked on Mother’s Day. I think too many women feel as alone and forgotten on Mother’s Day as I have felt for so many years. Women who have miscarried. Women who have lost a child far too early. Women who are struggling with infertility. Women who regret abortion. Women who made the difficult choice of adoption for their child. Women who are in the process of adopting, but are passed by, while the pregnant woman is recognized as a "mom." Women who grew up with no mother. Women who have lost a mother. Women who grew up in a home with an unloving or abusive mother. Women who have tried to adopt, but the adoptions fell through. Women whose child has run away. Women who have a wayward child and are wondering if there is something they did wrong, or could have done better or different as a mother. Women who have foster children in and out of their homes. Women who are spiritual mothers and mentors. Women who are single, but long to be married with children one day. Women who never had children and regret not doing so, but it’s too late in life to change things. Women who have step-children. Women whose last child has just moved out of the house, and it’s so empty and quiet now. Every woman has a story… and lot of them make Mother’s Day a painful day to face.
I am thankful to be able to celebrate being a mother to my son on this Mother’s Day. I am thankful to be able to celebrate his birth mother on this Mother’s Day. I’m thankful for all the quiet and lonely Mother’s Days that led up to this Mother’s Day. It’s not that this Mother’s Day I finally have something to celebrate, but on this Mother’s Day I have something new to celebrate… something different to celebrate, and to be forever thankful to my Heavenly Father for… for giving me the undeserved privilege of being a mom.