He gets his bag so full of stuff, that he can’t really access any of it. He says, “I need to put ___ in my bag...”. It takes a while to get out the door some days because he is packing his bag. He doesn’t have room in there most days for the things I usually put in there which results in me sometimes carrying a second bag. Why he feels like he needs all these things, I have no idea, but he totes that bag around regardless. We’ve been working on removing things, much to his dismay. But he’s growing in the discipline of letting things go.
Would he have enjoyed himself more without it? Yes. Would he have been able to play without struggle had be let me carry it for him? Yes. Would he have been less hot and tired had he chose not to wear it? Yes. But for some reason he finds comfort in having that bag. He feels secure knowing its near him. Is it burdensome? Absolutely!
My son is just like all of us. I watched him play with that backpack strapped to his back and thought about how I do the same things. Do I want to live in fear? Do I want to bear shame? No. I want to walk in freedom... but for some reason there is an odd sense of comfort and security in fear and shame. We don’t always want to hand it over, even though we know we will perform better without it. We will thrive. Yet we cling to the things that wear us down.
For some reason it seems silly when its “practical.” Take off the bag, honey. Trust me with this. You’ll be able to play better. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. If we, as parents, though we are evil, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more does our Heavenly Father give good gifts to his children?
Our church is currently in a teaching/preaching series called “Growing in Christ.” It has caused me to wrestle with different things in my spirit. The truth is, I’d rather walk in freedom than in fear. I’d rather rest in grace than in shame. I’d rather be a child than be a slave. Faith is a journey, and we don’t walk it alone. I want to grow in Christ. I want to experience the joy of victory in my life. And I don’t want to miss those joys because I’m hiding behind the shame that Jesus died to put to death.